After having spent what felt like an eternity on the alien spacecraft, I hatched an escape plan.
I'd constructed a very usable sling shot using my socks and hair, I'd woven the hair with ear wax over a period of six months to stiffen it enough to use as the frame, then i ripped the elastic from my socks to use as the pull band.
Since the aliens were keeping me in a giant ant farm my diet consisted purely of sugar and water, and the lack of any toothpaste had made my teeth quite weak. This gave me the perfect ammunition for my slingshot.
After removing four teeth I was ready to blast my way out! I loaded up the first tooth, pulled back slowly on my sock elastic.......
My hair and wax frame failed me, it just bent and drooped sadly in my hand, like a depressed swan. This didn't faze me though, if my uncle François Bertrand had taught me anything, it was that giving up was not an option! Persevere till the end!!
With my uncles words ringing in my exceptionally clean ears I saw my opportunity. We'd come to a stop in a field in Sweetwater, Florida. The four aliens were in a huddle performing what I first thought was group masturbation, on closer inspection I think they were cleaning their toes.
I used the time I had and slid down the poop chute and into the field below. The grass felt warm on my one bare foot, the sun burnt my eyes, my breath smelt like shit, but I was free! I crawled several miles to a small shed in the heart of the field. Once there I looked back and saw I had only crawled about 50 meters, I'd also left my wife behind. It was to late for her though, I couldn't even recall seeing her in the previous 6 months.
Inside the shed I collected my thoughts, the enormity of my ordeal was trying to break me. I refused to let it win. I peered out to see where the spacecraft was but it had disappeared, without a trace. I lay my head down and slept, I hadn't slept for the previous six months!
I eventually woke in a hospital bed, my wife sat at the side of me. What was going on? I didn't understand any of it!!
Apparently I had been in a coma for a year. on the night I thought I'd been abducted, my wife had become extremely frustrated at my constant jazz performances on the patio, ran out and punched me twice in the throat. I fell down and bumped my head, this left me in a coma.
What I still cant explain though is the short hand diary I have written all over my arms and legs. The doctors say its a rash, I tried to explain that it matches the short hand writing I developed in the eighties, but they wont listen! They say I'm confused because of the coma!!
Confused? Not me! Once I translate it back I can't wait to see the confusion on their faces!
As you can imagine, I've had a lot to take in these past few weeks. I learned the country is being run by a man who looks like seagull, crafty shape shifters should never be trusted. Never.
Zůstat v teple a zdravý
Eddie
Tuesday 5 April 2011
Monday 4 April 2011
Alien abduction is not funny!
Sorry its been a while since I last posted anything. I was, quite rudely I might add, abducted by aliens last year.
I'd been working on something I called "TWENTY FIRST CENTURY JAZZ SCAT". It is completely different to other music using Non-lexical vocables, and I had a really good feeling about it. Maybe that's why the aliens abducted me? It could have revolutionised the music industry!
Anyhow, I was sitting on the patio in my back garden, it was a reasonably satisfying 12 degrees centigrade. My throat had become a little dry with the powerful scatting I had been performing so I was drinking a bottle of crabbies (alcohol infused ginger beer) which I was thoroughly enjoying. It was only my twelfth bottle so I was still very much of sound mind.
That's when I heard the sound, a sound I'd heard years before and knew I would hear again.
An alien spacecraft was descending into my back garden! This would startle most people, not me though. Regular readers will know I have a withered finger as a result of an alien spacecraft many years ago.
What did surprise me though was the fact that the spacecraft appeared to be the very same one I'd encountered years back! It had some yellow tape crudely plastered over a hole I'd made when I threw a rock at it. That may sound unreasonable, but if a spaceship withers your finger you would naturally throw a rock at it.
I was quite prepared for this though, as I had been working on my "TWENTY FIRST CENTURY JAZZ SCAT" I had my Bontempi Keyboard with me. In the late seventies I had seen a documentary called Close Encounters of the Third Kind, so I knew I had to play the right combination of five musical notes to communicate with it. Now maybe it was the Crabbies, maybe it was the "TWENTY FIRST CENTURY JAZZ SCAT" or maybe a combination of the two, but when I came to play the five notes a sudden and uncontrollable jazz spasm enveloped me! I was firing jazz at the spacecraft from all angles!!
This must have upset the aliens, because the next thing I know I'm being pulled by an invisible force towards the spacecraft. There was no door on the spacecraft, I just sort of "passed through" the exterior walls. Whilst on board I suddenly realised that my wife wasn't with me, so I told the aliens (which I couldn't see at this point) that my wife was in the bath, and if they took me without her she would be vey upset with me! They obviously understood, suddenly out of nowhere my wife appeared, all naked and wet, just like the 85lb carp I caught back in the summer of 82.
After explaining to my wife why she was there, that I didn't want her to miss the experience, she punched me in the throat, twice!! She is very powerfull my wife, thats why I have no shame in admitting that I lost consiousness for three days.
When I finally woke up I could hear the aliens, but I still could not see them. They sounded like Barry White would if he was underwater. I decided I should keep a record of the abduction, so I wrote a diary on my legs and arms using a short hand I developed in the early eighties. Once Ive translated it back I will be publishing the diary, it should make for an interesting read.
To read the full details of my time on the spacecraft you will have to wait for the diary to be published. Tomorrow I will post the details of my escape.
láska k vám a vy
Eddie
I'd been working on something I called "TWENTY FIRST CENTURY JAZZ SCAT". It is completely different to other music using Non-lexical vocables, and I had a really good feeling about it. Maybe that's why the aliens abducted me? It could have revolutionised the music industry!
Anyhow, I was sitting on the patio in my back garden, it was a reasonably satisfying 12 degrees centigrade. My throat had become a little dry with the powerful scatting I had been performing so I was drinking a bottle of crabbies (alcohol infused ginger beer) which I was thoroughly enjoying. It was only my twelfth bottle so I was still very much of sound mind.
That's when I heard the sound, a sound I'd heard years before and knew I would hear again.
An alien spacecraft was descending into my back garden! This would startle most people, not me though. Regular readers will know I have a withered finger as a result of an alien spacecraft many years ago.
What did surprise me though was the fact that the spacecraft appeared to be the very same one I'd encountered years back! It had some yellow tape crudely plastered over a hole I'd made when I threw a rock at it. That may sound unreasonable, but if a spaceship withers your finger you would naturally throw a rock at it.
I was quite prepared for this though, as I had been working on my "TWENTY FIRST CENTURY JAZZ SCAT" I had my Bontempi Keyboard with me. In the late seventies I had seen a documentary called Close Encounters of the Third Kind, so I knew I had to play the right combination of five musical notes to communicate with it. Now maybe it was the Crabbies, maybe it was the "TWENTY FIRST CENTURY JAZZ SCAT" or maybe a combination of the two, but when I came to play the five notes a sudden and uncontrollable jazz spasm enveloped me! I was firing jazz at the spacecraft from all angles!!
This must have upset the aliens, because the next thing I know I'm being pulled by an invisible force towards the spacecraft. There was no door on the spacecraft, I just sort of "passed through" the exterior walls. Whilst on board I suddenly realised that my wife wasn't with me, so I told the aliens (which I couldn't see at this point) that my wife was in the bath, and if they took me without her she would be vey upset with me! They obviously understood, suddenly out of nowhere my wife appeared, all naked and wet, just like the 85lb carp I caught back in the summer of 82.
After explaining to my wife why she was there, that I didn't want her to miss the experience, she punched me in the throat, twice!! She is very powerfull my wife, thats why I have no shame in admitting that I lost consiousness for three days.
When I finally woke up I could hear the aliens, but I still could not see them. They sounded like Barry White would if he was underwater. I decided I should keep a record of the abduction, so I wrote a diary on my legs and arms using a short hand I developed in the early eighties. Once Ive translated it back I will be publishing the diary, it should make for an interesting read.
To read the full details of my time on the spacecraft you will have to wait for the diary to be published. Tomorrow I will post the details of my escape.
láska k vám a vy
Eddie
Saturday 6 March 2010
is this advert based on me?
I was sat watching television this evening when Jerry rang. He told me to switch over straight away because I was on the T.V! I did, and low and behold it was me!! Well it wasn't me, but We do look quite similar don't you think? youtube vid here.
The mans life seems to bare an uncanny resemblance to mine. Was the man in question based on me? Probably not, but its nice to think that maybe my life has inspired the advertisement folk. I think maybe a documentary following my life would be good, I may email my friend at the BBC!
Friday 5 March 2010
Untold Urban Legends
As promised I've started my Urban legends blog, you can get to it by clicking the link in the title of this post or clicking here
I will update it more when I've decyphered my notes.
I will update it more when I've decyphered my notes.
Tale Of The Cursed Telegraph Pole
It seems certain forces are working against me! For one reason or another I never seem to be able to update as often as I would like. The latest reason is the cursed telegraph pole opposite my house.
It does have previous this telegraph pole, it also reveals an alarming pattern to its curse!
In February 2008 I was sat listening to an album by a man called "Jazzy Jeff". It was not what I was expecting at all, but I did find my foot tapping furiously in time to the music. It was around this point that I realised how unseasonably warm I was feeling, was it the furious foot movements, or something more terrifying? I then noticed an alarming orange hue had enveloped my living room. I stepped outside to compose myself and was hit by a massive blaze! A car had been set alight in front of the telegraph pole that served my (and numerous other) home(s).
It was such a sickening sight to see something so majestic reduced to a whimpering mess of flailing wires and ash, like a giraffe being tortured by evil zoo keepers!
What was even more sickening however was the fact that my beautiful new window frames had melted and resembled a sad old man, a sad old man crying over the loss of his 15 year old whippet Sean. R.I.P Sean.
I was also without phone and broadband for 10 days, I was dead inside.
In February 2009 I was preparing for a deep sleep, I was very tired. I had just put my Jazz Olympics DVD on (it always helps me sleep) when i heard an almighty crash happen outside my house. I pulled back the curtain, fearing what I would be faced with. I was right to be fearful! The telegraph pole had been brought to its knees, hunched over a neighbours garden wall, like an old man after chasing his golden whippet Sean, but the whippet had veered into the road and been killed instantly. R.I.P Sean.
I started to sob into my flannel pajamas, my wife shouted "stop it Eddie! its only a telegraph pole!" "Only a telegraph pole!!!" I raged. but there was no telling her, I tried explaining the true magnificence of these majestic structures, it all fell on deaf ears though.
It transpired that two men of questionable character had been racing two massive transit vans down the road, one lost control and took out the pole. Neither man was hurt unfortunately.
I was hurt though, deeply. This event left me without phone and broadband for ten days!
February 2010, ten days ago in fact. I was sat working on my new book "Jazz foundations"(working title, more on that another time) when I heard a tremendous amount of tires screeching outside the house. I rushed to observe the cause of such mayhem. I was left staring at my worst nightmare!!
The wires attached to the telegraph pole had been sheered straight off!! The culprit was an RC Helicopter, the distinctive markings enabled me to identify it as belonging to Colin Britchmore.
Now don't get me wrong, I like Colin, he's a lovely fella. We've shared a few mutton joints in our time, but if there is one thing that gripes me about him, its his helicopter. There is a big field behind the opposite row of houses, substantial enough to fly kites, but I've warned him on numerous occasions that its far to close to the telegraph pole to fly helicopters. He has never heeded my warnings and he will have to live with the tragic consequences for the rest of his life.
He'd lost control, dipped over the houses and into the road, causing a three car pile up. Before gaining altitude and sheering through three wires connected to the telegraph pole. luckily no one died, I think one person suffered minor woman's whiplash.
Yet again this left me without phone and broadband for ten days!
My conclusion to all this is that the telegraph pole must be cursed. The last three years, always in February and I'm cut off for precisely ten days. If you take the days in February and times them by 3 for the last 3 years you get 84. Then take away 20 of the days I was without my phone you get 64. Then add 2 which represents the month of February to get 66. Then times it by the remanding 10 days I was without phone and broadband and you get 666!!! The number of the beast!! Spooky coincidence? I think not.
It does have previous this telegraph pole, it also reveals an alarming pattern to its curse!
In February 2008 I was sat listening to an album by a man called "Jazzy Jeff". It was not what I was expecting at all, but I did find my foot tapping furiously in time to the music. It was around this point that I realised how unseasonably warm I was feeling, was it the furious foot movements, or something more terrifying? I then noticed an alarming orange hue had enveloped my living room. I stepped outside to compose myself and was hit by a massive blaze! A car had been set alight in front of the telegraph pole that served my (and numerous other) home(s).
It was such a sickening sight to see something so majestic reduced to a whimpering mess of flailing wires and ash, like a giraffe being tortured by evil zoo keepers!
What was even more sickening however was the fact that my beautiful new window frames had melted and resembled a sad old man, a sad old man crying over the loss of his 15 year old whippet Sean. R.I.P Sean.
I was also without phone and broadband for 10 days, I was dead inside.
In February 2009 I was preparing for a deep sleep, I was very tired. I had just put my Jazz Olympics DVD on (it always helps me sleep) when i heard an almighty crash happen outside my house. I pulled back the curtain, fearing what I would be faced with. I was right to be fearful! The telegraph pole had been brought to its knees, hunched over a neighbours garden wall, like an old man after chasing his golden whippet Sean, but the whippet had veered into the road and been killed instantly. R.I.P Sean.
I started to sob into my flannel pajamas, my wife shouted "stop it Eddie! its only a telegraph pole!" "Only a telegraph pole!!!" I raged. but there was no telling her, I tried explaining the true magnificence of these majestic structures, it all fell on deaf ears though.
It transpired that two men of questionable character had been racing two massive transit vans down the road, one lost control and took out the pole. Neither man was hurt unfortunately.
I was hurt though, deeply. This event left me without phone and broadband for ten days!
February 2010, ten days ago in fact. I was sat working on my new book "Jazz foundations"(working title, more on that another time) when I heard a tremendous amount of tires screeching outside the house. I rushed to observe the cause of such mayhem. I was left staring at my worst nightmare!!
The wires attached to the telegraph pole had been sheered straight off!! The culprit was an RC Helicopter, the distinctive markings enabled me to identify it as belonging to Colin Britchmore.
Now don't get me wrong, I like Colin, he's a lovely fella. We've shared a few mutton joints in our time, but if there is one thing that gripes me about him, its his helicopter. There is a big field behind the opposite row of houses, substantial enough to fly kites, but I've warned him on numerous occasions that its far to close to the telegraph pole to fly helicopters. He has never heeded my warnings and he will have to live with the tragic consequences for the rest of his life.
He'd lost control, dipped over the houses and into the road, causing a three car pile up. Before gaining altitude and sheering through three wires connected to the telegraph pole. luckily no one died, I think one person suffered minor woman's whiplash.
Yet again this left me without phone and broadband for ten days!
My conclusion to all this is that the telegraph pole must be cursed. The last three years, always in February and I'm cut off for precisely ten days. If you take the days in February and times them by 3 for the last 3 years you get 84. Then take away 20 of the days I was without my phone you get 64. Then add 2 which represents the month of February to get 66. Then times it by the remanding 10 days I was without phone and broadband and you get 666!!! The number of the beast!! Spooky coincidence? I think not.
Thursday 4 February 2010
From bad to worse
After my start to the new year I felt confident in thinking things would only get better, I was slightly wrong. My limp has progressed to a mild hobble, which is good. My chest and sinuses developed an infection, which is bad. Just to round things off nicely I developed quite a severe case of the winter vomiting virus, which is still ongoing, but has subsided sufficiently for me to be able to use the computer.
During this time I was in some quite severe fevered states, these led to some astonishing visions of the future! I only managed to write two of them down though. I didn't see anything in them, but heard them like they were being reported on the radio, it was the calm matter of fact voice that was the most chilling aspect of them. You can read them below.
The second vision is more important. After many hours of research I believe it to be a prediction that England will win the world cup in 2018. The "Jack" in question i believe to be Jack Wilshere. The world cup will take place in England in 2018, Thats not official, but it will. You heard here first!
To any readers concerned about 2012, don't be. It won't happen. Like I said, my vision was all to do with several days of reading, fever, and the consumption of several pounds of cheese. I buy my cheese ready grated now, its much easier to eat this way. I went through about 15 bags leading up to the vision. If you are still worried, how about joining your local reincarnation society? I joined mine, it cost £1000! A bit steep I know, but I thought "bugger it, you only live once".
One last note. I have been researching "Urban Legends" for the past thirty years. I've uncovered many astonishing Legends, many of them only heard by a few people. I will be creating a new Blog to share my findings. I will of course post the link here.
I look forward to Blogging until 2012 and beyond!
Srdečným pozdravem
Eddie
During this time I was in some quite severe fevered states, these led to some astonishing visions of the future! I only managed to write two of them down though. I didn't see anything in them, but heard them like they were being reported on the radio, it was the calm matter of fact voice that was the most chilling aspect of them. You can read them below.
- A figure going by the name "Sign......(I can't remember the 2nd part)" will come to earth on the 21st of December 2012, He will carry a piece of stone (can't remember what it was called) so dense and heavy it will push earth out of orbit. Only the very long limbed will survive, Peter Crouch, Spiders and baby deer, that sort of thing.
- In the summer of 2018 a 26 year old man named "Jack" will do great things. He will be our saviour!
The second vision is more important. After many hours of research I believe it to be a prediction that England will win the world cup in 2018. The "Jack" in question i believe to be Jack Wilshere. The world cup will take place in England in 2018, Thats not official, but it will. You heard here first!
To any readers concerned about 2012, don't be. It won't happen. Like I said, my vision was all to do with several days of reading, fever, and the consumption of several pounds of cheese. I buy my cheese ready grated now, its much easier to eat this way. I went through about 15 bags leading up to the vision. If you are still worried, how about joining your local reincarnation society? I joined mine, it cost £1000! A bit steep I know, but I thought "bugger it, you only live once".
One last note. I have been researching "Urban Legends" for the past thirty years. I've uncovered many astonishing Legends, many of them only heard by a few people. I will be creating a new Blog to share my findings. I will of course post the link here.
I look forward to Blogging until 2012 and beyond!
Srdečným pozdravem
Eddie
Thursday 14 January 2010
Bad start to the new year!
I haven't been able to post for a while as I've had quite a terrible time of it. I had some free time so me and the wife decided to go camping, this was a huge mistake! I suppose if we all had the benefit of hind site life would be easier, less eventful, but easier. We went to Scotland, to the Campsie Fells which contain some stunning scenery . We set up and all was well, I had plenty of Ribena, 12 Mars bars, 17 packs of crumpets and 4 blocks of Cathedral cheese, there was a little snow but we had 2 sleeping bags each.
We settled in for the night, I had a litre of Ribena, 4 crumpets with cheese on and 2 Mars bars. I suffer with post consumption narcosis so I was out for the count quite early in the night. I woke at around 4:30 am, the tent had a foul stench, it seemed to be lingering under my nose, 30 seconds of investigation revealed the smell was coming from my sleeping bags! It seemed the cheese gave me quite a good bit of flatulence, I managed to get back to sleep though, even with watering eyes.
Day 1
We woke up for the day at about 8:00 am, it was still pitch black. I tried to open the tent to go and urinate, thats when the trip turned sinister.......
We were well and truly snowed in! I tried pressing on the roof of the tent with my deceptively powerful arms, I estimated that we were covered by about eight foot of snow! I didn't panic as I was highly trained for that kind of situation, I had a 2 week stint in the scouts as a child you see. 4 hours passed and the urge to empty our bladders became too strong. I bore a small hole in the floor of the tent with my pen knife and we went about our business.
Another 2 hours passed and we grew quite hungry. Knowing we could be here for the long haul I decided to ration the food. We had 1 crumpet each with cheese then shared a Mars bar and half a litre of Ribena.6 hours later we did the same, then overcome by tiredness and boredom we went to sleep....
Day 2
Pretty much the same as day 1. I did recount quite an amusing story to my wife about a hen and a pig, my wife laughed fairly quietly, apart from that nothing happened.
Day 3
Same again, I told the story again, it only raised a grin this time though.
Day 4
Same day, same story, My wife gave no reaction to it this time though.
Day 5
Same day, same story. My wife slapped me hard across the face and shouted "shut up Eddie you f***ing idiot" I don't know how being told a story about a hen pecking a pigs foot could have provoked such a strong reaction, thats when it hit me, she had cabin fever!! I saw this in a movie and knew I didn't have much time left if I was going to survive...
I took out my pen knife and shredded through the entrance to the tent, I was then confronted by my own stupidity. There was indeed a lot of snow around, several feet in fact. And there was a lot of it on top of the tent. The reason I couldn't get out though wasn't because of all the snow after all, it was because the zip was stuck!! If I had used my knife in the first place we wouldn't have endured 5 days stuck in the tent, and more importantly my story would not have got old.
I eventually found our car, and after 30 minutes of clearing the snow I tried to start it up. It wouldn't work though. The thought of spending another night in the tent with my wife, who was fully gripped by cabin fever, was enough to persuade me to hike through the snow to find help. I hiked through blizzard conditions for what seemed like hours, checking my watch revealed I'd only been gone 12 minutes! I returned a defeated man, repaired the tent the best I could and settled in for another night.
Day 6
At 8.00am I tore my way out of the tent again and set off determined to find civilization. I walked for 4 hours and finally found life!! A lovely pub called The Barnacles Ear. I told them my dilemma and they agreed to help.As it happened the owners brother owned a snow plow, 30 minutes later I was back at my tent. We collected all our stuff and returned to the pub.
It wasn't until I'd had a shower that I realized 2 of my toes were black with frost bite, There was no way of getting to a hospital that day so we spent the night at the pub.
Day 7
The weather finally relented and I was able to get to a hospital. To spare you the grisly details I will keep my tale of the hospital visit brief. I lost 2 toes and suffered hypothermia, my wife just suffered hypothermia and mild womans whiplash, the whiplash occurred after she had attacked me on day 5.
Day 10
Thats today, and we finally got home! we spent 2 nights in the hospital and caught the train home this morning. Its so good to be back, my wife is barely speaking to me but she'll eventually see the funny side.I'm walking with quite a severe limp at the moment, I expect that will subside when i get used to having 3 toes on my left foot. I know I promised my artwork in my last post but that will have to wait a day or 2, until I find my feet again.
Stay safe
Warm Regards
Eddie
We settled in for the night, I had a litre of Ribena, 4 crumpets with cheese on and 2 Mars bars. I suffer with post consumption narcosis so I was out for the count quite early in the night. I woke at around 4:30 am, the tent had a foul stench, it seemed to be lingering under my nose, 30 seconds of investigation revealed the smell was coming from my sleeping bags! It seemed the cheese gave me quite a good bit of flatulence, I managed to get back to sleep though, even with watering eyes.
Day 1
We woke up for the day at about 8:00 am, it was still pitch black. I tried to open the tent to go and urinate, thats when the trip turned sinister.......
We were well and truly snowed in! I tried pressing on the roof of the tent with my deceptively powerful arms, I estimated that we were covered by about eight foot of snow! I didn't panic as I was highly trained for that kind of situation, I had a 2 week stint in the scouts as a child you see. 4 hours passed and the urge to empty our bladders became too strong. I bore a small hole in the floor of the tent with my pen knife and we went about our business.
Another 2 hours passed and we grew quite hungry. Knowing we could be here for the long haul I decided to ration the food. We had 1 crumpet each with cheese then shared a Mars bar and half a litre of Ribena.6 hours later we did the same, then overcome by tiredness and boredom we went to sleep....
Day 2
Pretty much the same as day 1. I did recount quite an amusing story to my wife about a hen and a pig, my wife laughed fairly quietly, apart from that nothing happened.
Day 3
Same again, I told the story again, it only raised a grin this time though.
Day 4
Same day, same story, My wife gave no reaction to it this time though.
Day 5
Same day, same story. My wife slapped me hard across the face and shouted "shut up Eddie you f***ing idiot" I don't know how being told a story about a hen pecking a pigs foot could have provoked such a strong reaction, thats when it hit me, she had cabin fever!! I saw this in a movie and knew I didn't have much time left if I was going to survive...
I took out my pen knife and shredded through the entrance to the tent, I was then confronted by my own stupidity. There was indeed a lot of snow around, several feet in fact. And there was a lot of it on top of the tent. The reason I couldn't get out though wasn't because of all the snow after all, it was because the zip was stuck!! If I had used my knife in the first place we wouldn't have endured 5 days stuck in the tent, and more importantly my story would not have got old.
I eventually found our car, and after 30 minutes of clearing the snow I tried to start it up. It wouldn't work though. The thought of spending another night in the tent with my wife, who was fully gripped by cabin fever, was enough to persuade me to hike through the snow to find help. I hiked through blizzard conditions for what seemed like hours, checking my watch revealed I'd only been gone 12 minutes! I returned a defeated man, repaired the tent the best I could and settled in for another night.
Day 6
At 8.00am I tore my way out of the tent again and set off determined to find civilization. I walked for 4 hours and finally found life!! A lovely pub called The Barnacles Ear. I told them my dilemma and they agreed to help.As it happened the owners brother owned a snow plow, 30 minutes later I was back at my tent. We collected all our stuff and returned to the pub.
It wasn't until I'd had a shower that I realized 2 of my toes were black with frost bite, There was no way of getting to a hospital that day so we spent the night at the pub.
Day 7
The weather finally relented and I was able to get to a hospital. To spare you the grisly details I will keep my tale of the hospital visit brief. I lost 2 toes and suffered hypothermia, my wife just suffered hypothermia and mild womans whiplash, the whiplash occurred after she had attacked me on day 5.
Day 10
Thats today, and we finally got home! we spent 2 nights in the hospital and caught the train home this morning. Its so good to be back, my wife is barely speaking to me but she'll eventually see the funny side.I'm walking with quite a severe limp at the moment, I expect that will subside when i get used to having 3 toes on my left foot. I know I promised my artwork in my last post but that will have to wait a day or 2, until I find my feet again.
Stay safe
Warm Regards
Eddie
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