Just a quick post to wish everyone a merry new year! Hope you all had a happy Christmas as well.
In the coming days I will be showcasing some off my art! The first piece will be "Insincere thumb on a stick". I hope you are looking forward to it, I know I am.
Keep safe
Yours without wax
Eddie Gomez
Sunday, 3 January 2010
Tuesday, 29 December 2009
yuletide bereavement, sigh....
I haven't been able to update for a while as I have suffered a bereavement. Bereavements are hard any time of year, but Christmas day seems especially hard. I woke up at 5.00am, came down stairs to make a coffee, that's when I found Julian, limp and lifeless in the corner of his fish tank. He was a proud and strong balloon molly, he had such a powerful dorsal fin and a beautiful face, he looked a lot like Julian Clary, hence the name Julian.
As if that wasn't bad enough, the day got progressively worse.....
When it came time to open the presents all thoughts of Julian briefly vanished. My wife came into the living room holding a fairly large box, my eyes lit up, its the projector I've been after, I foolishly thought! I opened it to be confronted with a radio alarm clock! I don't want to sound ungrateful, but I'm pretty sure it was the free gift from my isp, the one I wrote about the other week. All was not lost though, she also bought me some engraved fork handles. They read "Eddy" instead of "Eddie", you can't win them all I suppose.
I bought my wife a £70.00 saddle of mutton, which I wrapped about ten days before Christmas. When she opened it the rotting flesh burnt my eyes, in my haste to rinse them I used the bucket of water I had put Julian in!! My vision was cloudy for about 20 minutes, but i can see alright now so no harm done. I also gave her a pearl necklace, the look on her face when she received it made up for my earlier disappointment.
My wife is Czechoslovakian, so she insists on having goose for Christmas dinner. This isn't so bad in itself, but she serves it guts and all, my constitution was bending under the strain of intestines and the like. She then served some kind of pudding, I still don't know what it was! It did contain a lot of sour milk and sour cream, again this is because she is Czechoslovakian. I noticed a little later my neck had swollen a couple of inches.
After dinner the dishwasher broke, water started pouring all over the floor! It was also emitting a strange smell, it smelled a bit like the rotting mutton from earlier in the day. After an extensive mopping session all that was left to do was bury Julian. He had grown too large to fit in a match box, he was the size of a eunuch's toe, I know these are large because I'm often visited by a eunuch called Vincent, he often sings me to sleep, he has such a soothing voice. I ended up constructing a coffin from the cats shelf in the garage, I then buried him whilst playing a song that was on classic FM, using my new radio alarm clock.
It had been an emotional day, I'm left feeling guilty about Julian's death. I have been studying noetic science for the last 2 years, this has left me convinced I could communicate with my fish. Perhaps my powerful human thoughts became to much for Julian's tiny fish brain? I just don't know.
I have just had a lovely piece of quiche though, and look forward to the new year with renewed hope and vigour.....
As if that wasn't bad enough, the day got progressively worse.....
When it came time to open the presents all thoughts of Julian briefly vanished. My wife came into the living room holding a fairly large box, my eyes lit up, its the projector I've been after, I foolishly thought! I opened it to be confronted with a radio alarm clock! I don't want to sound ungrateful, but I'm pretty sure it was the free gift from my isp, the one I wrote about the other week. All was not lost though, she also bought me some engraved fork handles. They read "Eddy" instead of "Eddie", you can't win them all I suppose.
I bought my wife a £70.00 saddle of mutton, which I wrapped about ten days before Christmas. When she opened it the rotting flesh burnt my eyes, in my haste to rinse them I used the bucket of water I had put Julian in!! My vision was cloudy for about 20 minutes, but i can see alright now so no harm done. I also gave her a pearl necklace, the look on her face when she received it made up for my earlier disappointment.
My wife is Czechoslovakian, so she insists on having goose for Christmas dinner. This isn't so bad in itself, but she serves it guts and all, my constitution was bending under the strain of intestines and the like. She then served some kind of pudding, I still don't know what it was! It did contain a lot of sour milk and sour cream, again this is because she is Czechoslovakian. I noticed a little later my neck had swollen a couple of inches.
After dinner the dishwasher broke, water started pouring all over the floor! It was also emitting a strange smell, it smelled a bit like the rotting mutton from earlier in the day. After an extensive mopping session all that was left to do was bury Julian. He had grown too large to fit in a match box, he was the size of a eunuch's toe, I know these are large because I'm often visited by a eunuch called Vincent, he often sings me to sleep, he has such a soothing voice. I ended up constructing a coffin from the cats shelf in the garage, I then buried him whilst playing a song that was on classic FM, using my new radio alarm clock.
It had been an emotional day, I'm left feeling guilty about Julian's death. I have been studying noetic science for the last 2 years, this has left me convinced I could communicate with my fish. Perhaps my powerful human thoughts became to much for Julian's tiny fish brain? I just don't know.
I have just had a lovely piece of quiche though, and look forward to the new year with renewed hope and vigour.....
Wednesday, 23 December 2009
Friendship Dead!
I was sat on my new computer, browsing the web and eating some wotsits then my phone rang. The number was the same one that Jeff had text me on (read 2 posts back for details). I really did not want to answer it but I did...... Only to be greeted by Jerry!!
I asked him what he was doing with this number, he told me he had a new phone. I then said it was the exact same number "dead Jeff" had been texting me from. Jerry laughed quite hard, he said it had been a wind up!
I hung up, I'm fed up of Jerry now. I haven't slept for 3 days thinking about it, now I'm shaking with anger!! Like the time I was offered a contract at work worth £55,000 a week, I nearly crashed my car with rage!!!!! That may have been Ashley Cole, not me, anyway time to move on.
Changing the subject briefly, I thought I saw Santa Claus earlier on today, sat in my living room. It could have been old man Marley from Home Alone though, not too sure...
I asked him what he was doing with this number, he told me he had a new phone. I then said it was the exact same number "dead Jeff" had been texting me from. Jerry laughed quite hard, he said it had been a wind up!
I hung up, I'm fed up of Jerry now. I haven't slept for 3 days thinking about it, now I'm shaking with anger!! Like the time I was offered a contract at work worth £55,000 a week, I nearly crashed my car with rage!!!!! That may have been Ashley Cole, not me, anyway time to move on.
Changing the subject briefly, I thought I saw Santa Claus earlier on today, sat in my living room. It could have been old man Marley from Home Alone though, not too sure...
Sunday, 20 December 2009
Message from an old friend
I haven't updated for a few days as I've been in a state of shock! I received a message from an old friend the other day, quite out of the blue. I didn't even know he was still in the country or even if he was still alive.
I was sat watching a documentary about Jazz Fusion when my phone went off. I didn't recognise the number, the text simply said "is this Eddie". I replied "yes it is, whom is this?". It turned out it was Jeff, I had not heard from him for 13 years!
We exchanged pleasantries for a few texts, then came his real motivation for texting. "I know this is out of the blue, but can you lend me £2000 mate?" I replied that I was sorry but could not afford £20 let alone £2000!
That's when things turned sinister, I can't even publish what his response was!!! I rang the number to try and reason with him but the line just went dead. In a bit of a state, I didn't know what to do so I rang Jerry.
Me and Jerry hadn't spoken for a week or so after he gave me some bad advise, I had deleted his mobile number from my phone, so I found his home number in the phone book. After explaining to Jerry what had happened, he revealed some startling information. Jeff died two years ago!!!!
This left me shaken, I'm used to ghosts in my home and garden, but haunting by text message is another thing all together! Needless to say I've gone through plenty off Jazz and hot chocolate these past two days!
I was sat watching a documentary about Jazz Fusion when my phone went off. I didn't recognise the number, the text simply said "is this Eddie". I replied "yes it is, whom is this?". It turned out it was Jeff, I had not heard from him for 13 years!
We exchanged pleasantries for a few texts, then came his real motivation for texting. "I know this is out of the blue, but can you lend me £2000 mate?" I replied that I was sorry but could not afford £20 let alone £2000!
That's when things turned sinister, I can't even publish what his response was!!! I rang the number to try and reason with him but the line just went dead. In a bit of a state, I didn't know what to do so I rang Jerry.
Me and Jerry hadn't spoken for a week or so after he gave me some bad advise, I had deleted his mobile number from my phone, so I found his home number in the phone book. After explaining to Jerry what had happened, he revealed some startling information. Jeff died two years ago!!!!
This left me shaken, I'm used to ghosts in my home and garden, but haunting by text message is another thing all together! Needless to say I've gone through plenty off Jazz and hot chocolate these past two days!
Thursday, 17 December 2009
Its Snowing!!
Its snowing outside, well its a blizzard if I'm honest. I wonder what the odds on a white Christmas are? This is the perfect opertunity to set up my night vision cameras and capture ghosts footsteps outside my house. There is a ghost called Cid Barlow who usually patrols outside my house, he looks a lot like Garry Coleman, he claims he used to be a security gaurd, I guess he keeps watch over my house.
Wednesday, 16 December 2009
Sky came calling
Bugger all has happened today, I haven't even got any mutton! Going to buy some tomorrow though, not using the same butcher, The last saddle of mutton he gave me was horrific!
Been doing a lot of reflecting today, where have all the years gone? It wasn't too long ago I did some modelling for a footwear company, nothing seems to happen nowadays.
A representative from Sky television knocked on the door at dinner time. I was just tucking into some mushroom sandwiches, You can imagine I was quite miffed! He gave me his sales pitch which quite impressed me, so I invited him in. I offered to make him a mushroom sandwich, which he declined(probably due to the lack of mutton!). I got some old photos out and put some Jazz on, it was then that he told me he was in a rush and had to get going. His loss I suppose, I've been considering getting sky television for a few months now.
I'm really downbeat today, what with the reminiscing and sky representative leaving so quickly after arriving, this is due to the lack of mutton in my system, it must release endorphins. I shall have some tomorrow though, all will be good again!!!
Been doing a lot of reflecting today, where have all the years gone? It wasn't too long ago I did some modelling for a footwear company, nothing seems to happen nowadays.
A representative from Sky television knocked on the door at dinner time. I was just tucking into some mushroom sandwiches, You can imagine I was quite miffed! He gave me his sales pitch which quite impressed me, so I invited him in. I offered to make him a mushroom sandwich, which he declined(probably due to the lack of mutton!). I got some old photos out and put some Jazz on, it was then that he told me he was in a rush and had to get going. His loss I suppose, I've been considering getting sky television for a few months now.
I'm really downbeat today, what with the reminiscing and sky representative leaving so quickly after arriving, this is due to the lack of mutton in my system, it must release endorphins. I shall have some tomorrow though, all will be good again!!!
Tuesday, 15 December 2009
Russian message decrypted!
After a few hours of research today, I think I finally understand the message I received yesterday. If you combine sweet and water you get Sweetwater, not rocket science I know, but it's a place in Florida that was founded by Russian circus midgets.
I strongly suspect that the ghost was telling me this, and that we should not forget this fact. There is scarcely little about it on the Internet, here is one link to read more about it.
http://bobmiami.com/2007/02/27/the-city-of-sweetwater-was-founded-by-russian-circus-midgets/
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